Excited to start planning your dream wedding? Take a deep breath. Don’t jump right in just yet. It's unfortunate, but many couples do quarrel during this stage of their relationship, as bridal forums the world over will attest. You'll see threads bemoaning last night's argument over a whole host of wedding planning topics! Let's get you started on the right foot by sharing those crucial conversation topics you'll need to cover before you and your fiancé embark on your wedding planning journey.
Of utmost importance is that both of you agree on the maximum budget you are willing to commit to. But that's not all. Decide and then clearly list down who pays for what, unless you're going to split everything 50/50. Keep in mind to include the cost of the wedding rings and the honeymoon, in addition to expenses of the wedding day itself. Settling the issue of the wedding cost will avoid the number one cause of quarrels and tension between couples.
He might have 80 guests in mind to invite while you were thinking to invite 120, but then both your parents also want to invite their own friends too. My advice is to fix a certain number with a little leeway and have an agreement on who to invite and who to skip. You may need to include your elders in this discussion because more often than not, they would want to extend invitations to neighbours, friends and even distant relatives as well.
You might have dreams of a pristine church setting with a luncheon on the luscious green lawn, your guests basking in the afternoon sun by the chapel, but he prefers to go with the traditional red-themed hotel wedding banquet to accommodate his elderly parents’ wishes. Before you start scouting out possible venues, it's best to firm up what kind of wedding both of you envision and compromise to get everyone's expectations in line.
We might know the items each is paying for, but how much ang bao money does each one get to keep? From the ang baos you receive from your guests to the ang baos you receive from your parents during the tea ceremony--are you going to pool it altogether to offset the overall wedding cost? Or will each be keeping only the ang bao money which was bestowed during the tea ceremony? It's best to talk this through before the wedding planning starts.
Are you applying for an HDB? Will the flat be ready for you both to move in after the wedding? Or will it take a while before the keys are handed over to you? A decision must be made beforehand as to where each will be staying after the wedding. Some parents consider it taboo for the couple to live separately in their respective parents’ home after their wedding.
Talk things out and come to conclusive agreements on these topics before you dive into your wedding planning. This will spare you of unnecessary arguments, wasted time and frustration and tears.
Written by Kally Tay
Edited by Priscilla Lai
* Kally Tay is a writer who used to be a bride from Annabel Law Productions and a friendship blossomed with Bel after her wedding. She loves to share her knowledge of being a mum and her corporate experiences though her blog at Middle Me.