The Difference between Love and Infatuation
Updated: Oct 16
If you're around my age, you probably grew up reading all those classic fairy tales and heroic love stories that taught us girls to believe that being in love meant quickened heartbeats, fainting spells and sweating palms. That couldn’t be further from the truth! While liking someone does mean that you're always happy being around him, loving someone means that you absolutely cannot bear to be without him. Yes, when you like someone, you will feel those tiny butterflies in your stomach, but loving someone goes much deeper than that.
You Don't Mind His Flaws
Whether it's his insistence on using that queer cologne or the way he kicks all his dirty socks into the corner, you find his flaws bemusing and even endearing. You probably refer to those habits as his own special quirks.
You Miss Him Intensely
When you like someone, you may miss him in the moments he's away; however, you’d be able to distract yourself with work, TV and social life. When you love someone, your heart actually aches to have him around even if you've only been apart for just a couple of hours. Your mind constantly wanders back to thinking about him, and you feel that somehow, a part of you has gone missing.
Material Things Don’t Matter as Much
You would rather have his company and full attention at home on a Valentine’s Day than share him with the crowd at a fancy restaurant. You don’t mind that he only made you a card for your birthday because the words inside just melt your heart.
He's the Only One You'd Want
You might like several guys at once or even consider multiple guys as "potential," but when it comes to love, you can’t imagine ever dating someone else and not him. The very thought of it appals you!
He Means the World to You
When you love someone, he means everything to you. Your life revolves around him and his revolves around you. Every little thing that happens to him affects you, and because of that, you reach new emotional highs, but thankfully, it's always an exhilarating ride!
Suddenly, nothing matters more than the time you spend together. You'd rather stay at home with him than go on a trip to Maui, just because he can’t go. Or look after him when he is sick in bed and forfeit tickets to that Taylor Swift concert.
You just can’t wait! Can’t wait to meet his friends. Can’t wait to meet his parents. Can’t wait to move in with him. Can’t wait to say "I do" and spend the rest of your life with him. Your heart yearns to integrate him fully into every aspect your life; you're not satisfied for him to be part of it only.
The moment you find yourself calculative and "keeping score" on who did what for the other, something is amiss. You don't notice yourself saying things like, "I sacrifice more for him" or, "Actually, I love him more than he loves me" because it just isn't the case. If it ever is true, you're probably falling out of love.
Written by Kally Tay Edited by Priscilla Lai
* Kally Tay is a writer who used to be a bride from Annabel Law Productions and a friendship blossomed with Bel after her wedding. She loves to share her knowledge of being a mum and her corporate experiences though her blog at Middle Me.